As the day is coming closer, reality hits me even harder, and it definitely shows myself that I am in too deep.
Why am I investing so much time on something that won't have a ending/result?
It's not often that I fall so deep for somebody, and also feel like there is a chance. But whenever I look at it, I don't see how we would ever end up together.
Everything about this situation eats me up but at the same time I should not be letting these things control my life.
God needs to be in charge of my life and the way it would go.
If God has planned for me to have someone in my life or have him in my life, I am willing to give to listen entirely on God.
I am not in a rush for it, I've waited so long, I don't mind waiting more time.
One thing for sure, and it is related to something that happened recently. Something happened to him, and he wouldn't tell me. For the time I was in the darkness I learned to depend in God and also not to ask questions. I am not nosy by nature, but definitely I want to care. I learned to give him space.
I prayed to God, and I prayed to Him, "I don't know what is wrong with him right now, and he doesn't have to tell me, but if it makes him better then I am willing to give up instant noodles for life." To you it may not mean anything, but it is one of my most favourite kind of meal in the world. And things did start to get better an things did happen for the better. God I will keep my promise to you, I will not eat instant noodles, as it is for my health and also because I promised.